hot take: i don't trust booktok. and i'm bored of the detailed sex scenes.
I can commend booktok for being a catalyst for indie authors and the book industry as a whole. But I don’t care for the many books ‘influencers’ trot out as being their favorites.
I’ve only recently started my Instagram, where I focus on book reviews, quotes, anything and everything about books. I talk about the books I love, the books I didn’t like, while at the same time, posting detailed reviews of books to my personal book blog.
And of course, while being in this space, I have come across a lot of the “Booktok” favorites that are constantly being advertised and shoved to the top of the algorithm whenever I’m browsing for new books to read and enjoy.
Here’s the thing, though. I don’t care for the Booktok favorites. Just because they are hyper-inflated and talked endlessly about doesn’t mean that they are literary classics that are deserving of high praise.
My issue isn’t particularly with the readers who consume these books—predominantly “spicy romances” as they’re called. I understand where the appeal is coming from, I understand that books are a form of escapism and a way to live a life vastly different from the life you are living now. Now, I can’t really understand the appeal of being kidnapped by an alpha mafia boss or falling in love with angry, aggressive men (of any and all fantasy races), but that’s not really my point.
My critique is towards the overall culture encapsulating these books, reducing the most popular books into trope-driven romances that have been done over and over again. The long, whimsical, complex romance stories of the past are just that. A thing of the past.
Right now, the market fixates on fast, mass-produced books that carry an overwhelming amount of sex with a brooding male hero that falls completely in love with the female. There’s hardly any room for nuanced insight on the complexities of romance or love in these books. It’s just a matter of: when can I get to the sex scenes?
It Ends With Us: Strange, Lacking, and Failing to Execute Its Point
One such book that I will bring up is It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover, a Booktok favorite that resulted in a movie adaptation which has probably ruined the lives of its leading stars. Fun!
I had a lot of issues with this book in particular, not just due to the weak writing style. This book could have been something great if and only if it were in the hands of a more competent author. I’ll die on this hill.
Hoover wrote Ryle to be this brooding, dysfunctional, yet handsome and enticing young surgeon. A rich man who charms the protagonist, before ultimately breaking her heart in the worst way by physically abusing her as a result of his jealousy.
Before I read it, I saw a lot of varied opinions about the book online. Some people claimed Hoover was glamorizing abuse in this one (as much as I don’t like the book, I disagree with this take). Others say it was too unrealistic of a story (I agree with this one much more). And I say that it was a story that explores the complexities of domestic abuse all while being as complex as a puzzle with nine pieces.
Still, it’s a book that Booktok admires and praises and will recommend to anyone who breathes because:
Oh, Ryle is just so misunderstood.
The sex scenes were so hot.
It’s a great romance book!
When, in reality, this book covers a deeply toxic, violent, and unnatural relationship between two characters. And somehow, despite everything, the male protagonist is forgiven and given grace by a predominantly young female audience because he is portrayed as an attractive, rich man.
I can’t even begin to explain how damaging this sort of thinking is. The young mind is malleable, the young mind is easily influenced, and when you bombard it with messages like these, that you can love and co-exist and yearn for an abusive man despite the things that he has done to you and others, you are only setting up these minds for failure.
Real love, real romance, is not like this at all. Love shouldn’t be reduced to just sex, because then it’s not love—it’s lust.
Can a Good Book Prevail Without Sex Scenes?
The answer is… yes! Absolutely! Many, many books of the past became classics and widely loved for being romances with no need for long sex scenes that detail everything for the readers to consume. I’m of the mindset that you don’t need these scenes at all. My favorite romance books of the moment allude to sex with a ‘fade-off-to-black’ moment, and the romance continues without a hiccup.
Another Booktok favorite that I can use to illustrate my point is none other than Rebecca Yarros’ Fourth Wing. A romantasy targeted towards young adults, the book blends characteristics of The Hunger Games and Divergent while also focusing on the relationship between Violet and Xaden in an enemies-to-lovers romance arc.
Now, I enjoyed this book for the action sequences, the dragons, and the worldbuilding at play here. I wish it had more intricate worldbuilding, but I understand not all authors can be as talented as George R.R. Martin, so I can let it slide.
And surprisingly enough, I enjoyed the romantic tension between Violet and Xaden up until the moment they had sex. Their long-awaited sex scene was a whole chapter, intensely detailed and graphic and a culmination of the brewing tension that had been simmering between them since the moment they laid eyes on each other.
I’m sure a lot of readers enjoyed these graphic parts, but to me, I feel like it cheapened the romance a little bit. In fact, this is how I feel for most romances that involve long, gratuitous sex scenes.
I like romances where they yearn for each other, where the tension between them is felt throughout, where you can feel the love between the characters in their actions and dialogue and thoughts. This is probably why I’m a big fan of slowburns, as well.
But when a detailed sex scene is involved, it kind of ruins all of that. Sex is a wonderful, climactic moment between a couple and in my eyes, it should be a mysterious force to the outside world. When you see a married couple in real life, you know that they’re (most likely) having sex with each other. Do you need to know the intricate details of their sex life to understand the love they feel for each other? No. And I feel the same way about book couples, too.
Sex In Our Modern Culture
I fully believe that, due to the prevalence of sex, the commodification of sex, the rise of ‘empowering sex work’ and the detailed depictions of sex in literary media, the importance of sex and its ability to bond two people has been cheapened and diluted completely.
I’m coming at this from a religious standpoint, but rest assured, I’m not a prude. I can handle detailed sex scenes in books and other forms of media, but it’s just so lackluster to me. I don’t care for it. I can admire the love between a couple without having to see them in bed together.
Sex sells. And sex has become a driving force in the book publishing world, so much so that it has become literally inescapable at times. I don’t have enough fingers to count how many “spicy book recommendations” I have seen on my social media pages. How many times have I seen someone ask, “cool, but does the book have any spice?”
And then, I see comments from younger readers saying that they don’t read the book, only the dialogue. Or they skip to the sex scenes. Or they skim books altogether just so they can promote the next Booktok favorite that is on everyone’s screens.
The book world, and perhaps reading as a whole, has fallen victim to the presumption that a book must have sex in it in order to sell. I’ve seen this talked about in author circles, as well. It’s a growing concern that reading has just become a way for people to indulge in pornographic fantasies.
Now, let me clarify here that I think there is a vast difference between “spicy books” and the porn industry at large, the latter being so much more damaging and exploitative since these are real human beings involved. Books, at the end of the day, are words on a page, and rest assured that no matter how graphic and violent they get (unless they are memoirs or biographies or nonfiction historical accounts), these things didn’t happen to anyone in particular.
At the same time, I think it’s worth critiquing that a lot of the books being written, published, and lauded as ‘romance’ books offer no substantial value to the reader beyond the sex scenes. Can people really remember the intricate details of any of the characters, or their backstories? Their likes and dislikes, what drives them, what kind of character arc they went on?
No, because the characters only exist to have sex with each other. Everything else is an afterthought, a stepping stone towards those coveted sex scenes that will get your book a viral moment on Booktok.
This has cheapened the hobby that I love so much because hardly anyone talks about the classics, the literary greats, the authors that shaped literature into what it is today.
The Fast-Paced Nature of Booktok
It’s the name of the game right now. Writers and publishers are cranking out romance books at a fast pace because the romance industry is a billionaire dollar one. And romance books, for the most part, are easy reads. These “spicy romance” books are even easier reads. There’s no thinking involved, no in-depth analysis behind why the characters do what they do. They just need to have sex with each other, multiple times at least.
These books are quick to create, quick to consume. And the Booktok influencers are quick to make content about them. In order to stay relevant, you need to be quick to jump onto these trends. So Booktok readers will read the easiest books on the market right now, perhaps even skim through them, give them glowing reviews to their vast audiences, and push the book to the top of the algorithm even if the book is riddled with issues, holes, and inconsistencies.
And the cycle continues over and over again.
I don’t really feel any contempt for the Booktok influencers who do this because, at the end of the day, they’re just trying to dominate a very competitive influence ecosystem right now. But I’d be remiss to ignore how these trends are impacting the incoming wave of young readers, who will think Colleen Hoover and Ali Hazelwood are the crème de la crème of romance writers.
Not only that, but I feel like this way of reading greatly limits someone’s want and desire to explore other genres. If you’re being bombarded with spicy romance books week-to-week, and these books give you dopamine hits in the form of gratuitous sex scenes, why would you even want to bother with a historical fiction book or a thriller or sci-fi or those long, boring classics that no one else online seems to be reading at the moment?
Why Do I Even Care?
Good question. That’s a question I thought to myself multiple times as I was writing this essay.
Am I going to lose sleep over this? No. Am I going to stop reading altogether? No. Am I being a bit of a hater? Yes, of course.
But I think it’s an important conversation to have because I’m concerned about the growing anti-intellectualism in this country, the lack of media literacy, the fact that most Americans read at a 7th or 8th grade reading level and spicy romance books only exacerbate that problem further.
I don’t like living through a time where people can’t fathom reading a book without sex scenes in it. I don’t like living through a time where people will openly admit to not reading the book and just skipping to the sex scenes. I don’t like living through a time where people are guided by the thoughts and opinions of influencers on Tiktok.
For that reason, I seek to cultivate a space where I can talk openly and in-depth about the books I love across varied genres. The complex books, the dark books, the books that make me sit back and contemplate the human condition like the very author who penned those words to a page.
I want to grow my knowledge and insights on the world. I want to learn about different cultures and the experiences of the people therein. I want to expand my worldview beyond the cozy, little spaces that I’ve always called my own.
Most of all, I want to think for myself, formulate my own conclusions, and write passionately about the topics that move me. Passing trends and social media recommendations don’t move me. Authors do, as well as the unique stories they tell.
Many authors won’t get their viral moments on Booktok. They won’t make it onto the “Booktok favorites” lists. They won’t be recommended by the top influencers on social media.
But I hope they know that readers like me still exist, who will pick up their books and read their stories and admire them silently for being brave enough to bring their words to life. And I’ll be searching for these lesser known stories in particular. The diamonds in the rust. The gems hidden by the undulating waves of the sea.