envy is normal.

but forgiveness, for ourselves and for others, should be what we strive for.

envy, one of the seven deadly sins. envy, the emotion that killed desdemona. envy, the destructive force that consumes us absolutely.

and yet, it’s one of the most normal emotions you can experience as a human. it’s probably a key component of living life. by being envious, you’re being normal. you’re being human.

i remember a time when i was freshly postpartum at only 22 years old. i was tired all the time, i didn’t feel my best, and i deeply envied the lives of the people around me. i saw young, single people my age, living their lives as normal, and thought to myself, what i would give to have a sliver of that life again. keep in mind, i wanted to be a mother. i wanted to be married young. i wanted this all for myself, and yet, there was a beauty to being young and having no responsibilities that i envied.

i confessed this to my priest. and he told me, “of course you feel envy. because you’re human.”

and those words have stuck with me for a long time.

what does it mean to be envious?

at the core, being envious means to want what someone else has. it’s a word with such a simple definition, but it’s a powerful emotion. it’s a feeling that can lead to disastrous outcomes if you’re not careful.

i believe the rise of social media has truly planted the seed of envy into the hearts of many. you can see this across the board, actually. you see envy in the comments of every pretty woman who posts about her life online. you see envy in the comments of a mother sharing what she does with her children. you see envy in the comments of rich men, flaunting their wealth and relationships with women.

i know what you’re thinking. perhaps, you think it’s lame for others to hate on other people, and to an extent, i agree. but i would also suggest that it’s remiss to act as if these behaviors aren’t an absolutely normal part of the human experience, especially as we’re living in a time of such wealth inequality and instability.

so when you see people online flaunting their wealth and success when you’re struggling on the day-to-day to pay your bills, i can absolutely understand someone who feels that flare of envy spark up within the white hot heat of their soul.

life is not fair.

i think we can all agree that certain people have it better than others, and there’s really no rhyme or reason to this. it just is. some people are born into exorbitantly wealthy families and they will never know a day of struggle. other people are born into horrific situations and are plagued with trauma for the rest of their lives. and what can we do about it? nothing, really.

it just is.

i don’t think we should feel guilty with ourselves for being envious now and then. we all struggle with something in our daily lives. we’re always gonna find someone prettier, richer, more successful than we are.

but what’s important is that we don’t let that envy consume us completely. while it’s normal to feel envious of others, does that mean it’s okay to spend your days harassing them, stalking them, trying to find flaws to dismantle their confidence? no, not at all. that would be lame.

a reminder: envy is normal and you shouldn’t feel guilty about it. what you do about your envy is what will make or break you.

it just is.

there’s no point in fixating over someone else’s life. yes, they may be successful at something you’re not. yes, they may seem happier than you. yes, they may even be more prettier than you.

but is there any real benefit to obsessing over those things? or is it better to just accept things as they are? i lean towards the latter.

we’re all just people trying to make the best of what we have. we’re dealing with the cards that life has given us. and you know what we should do with these cards? make the best of what we can. perhaps, we will never be millionaires traveling the world with our money. perhaps, we won’t get to accomplish all of our dreams. it’s difficult to think about these things because while they’re not the ideal, they’re the realistic ends to most of our lives.

for these reasons, i think we should all give ourselves a little bit more grace. things may not pan out as they should. but remember, tomorrow is never promised. envy has the power to destroy us. don’t let that happen.